22.

"It takes 22 days to develop a habit and only 2 days to break it." - Traditional Common Saying.

I went home recently to see my parents. Because my mother had already brought to me a slew of the possessions from my father's house, the only things I brought back with me were the contents of a small, battered tote and some stray items - a snowglobe with a picture of my baby brother and myself, an empty art journal made with Italian artists' paper, a jewelry box that was a birthday gift from my father, a large photo album and a Pokemon VHS tape (recent gift from my brother).

I have made up the different in possessions gained by donating stuff I just don't need. I have been on a donation spree as of late. My neglected purses, unused appliances, and cluttering knickknacks have found their way to Goodwill. Before I go out, I grab a back of donations and drop it off at the side door with the nice people inside.

Now that I have gotten into the habit of donating, how about I get into the habit of posting to this blog?

To do - Tidy living room, clean bathroom, find checkbook, bake cupcakes.

Accomplished - Donated to Goodwill, shopped, sorted ponies.

a lesson on how to fail

It has been a week since my last confession. During this week I have thought long and hard about posting an update of what happened with that nifty list of items from my last post. Typical Misty M.O. I'm a thinker, not a doer. Of course, this blog is about finding a happy balance between the two, so here we go, a shameful list of my accomplishments.

Update from previous post -

1. Cleared off bed - Check.
2. Washed bedding - Check... kinda.
3. Evacuated dishes from bedroom - Check.
4. Planned stuff - Not at all.
5. Buffy marathon - Triple check.
6. Painted nails - Check! (First it was Barbie Pink then it was Electric Blue.)
7. Updated this blog in a week? Er...

Okay, so that's progress. Sort of. Except for the fact that I didn't wash my bedding when I said I would. I actually did the washing last night, somewhere between the first and third glass of wine. Also, not listed, were normal things I find myself doing because I have to... sometimes. Like dishes and normal washing and cleaning the bathroom.

What is it about certain tasks or lists of tasks I am unable to follow through on? The whole thinking part comes so easily to me. It's the doing part that I fail on. I gave my youngest sister a pep talk this weekend about how she needs to focus on the details of the bigger picture instead the actual picture. Am I focusing too much on the details?

"Success in any endeavor requires single-minded attention to detail and total concentration." Will Sutton

I don't mind failing. Maybe I've become too complacent with the concept. Fail to grow, fail to learn. Whatever happened to succeed to win? Win to grow?

I will keep hammering away at the details, for now. What do I need to do tonight? I would like to clear off my bed. Again. I would like to put away the dishes I washed yesterday. I would like to do a load of laundry. I would like to move my possessions to another purse.

Fingers crossed.

'cause baby, I'm a firework

I lack focus.

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag,
Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel, feel so paper-thin
Like a house of cards, one blow from caving in?

My head is so full of... stuff. I have a million thoughts running all at the same time every moment of every day. I have never been able to just turn these thoughts off. I actually overwhelm myself. Because of this I'm a flake. I'm forgetful, easily distracted. I start projects or plan them and never follow through. My goals sit, just waiting to be achieved. I even neglect friends and loved ones, not because I'm mean or mad at them. I've tried to do the whole to-do list thing, but what does one do when their to-do is a list of to-do lists to be composed.

I get in my way. Alot. It makes me feel like I am my own worst enemy.

Do you ever feel already buried deep?
Six feet under screams, but no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that there's still a chance for you?
'Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light, and let it shine
Just own the night like the Fourth of July

On those rare occassions when I can zero in on a target, I am cabable of anything. I'm Wonder Woman. The world is my oyster. No one in the 'verse can stop me.

'Cause baby, you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

The purpose of this blog it to trace a path from where I am now to just past that point of productivity. It will serve two functions - 1. as a log of goals, successes and failures and 2. a public way to hold me accountable for my actions.

Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go "oh, oh, oh!",
You're gonna leave 'em falling down oh oh!

My first set of tasks is to clear off my bed (you have no idea what is in my bed with me RIGHT NOW, I have much shame and concern for my well-being), wash my bedding, get the dishes out of my room, and plan for my tomorrow. Oh, and I have a long and arduous Buffy marathon planned that I must vanquish. And I should paint my nails...

Musical accompanyment by Katy Perry. Her music, though sometimes trite and vapid, can be very fun. She has little to do with focus, but I thought the song more appropriate quotage than, say, Ke$ha. (I've been listening to a lot of Ke$ha lately...)